The Art of Feeling Accepted- Five ways to feel belonged

Do you find it difficult to mingle with people? Do you always feel the need to explain yourself to others lest you're misjudged? Have you ever felt the need to go out of the way to show someone how much you mean to them? Do you have a glistening yet silent hope in your heart that someone, anyone, will understand You and appreciate You for your efforts? If you feel any of these, you're not necessarily an introvert, a loser (not at all!) or alone. It happens with each and everyone of us. Because, we want to feel Accepted.

Since the creation of Mankind, humans are attuned to have the feeling of belongingness. They want to feel belonged, whether to a community or any group. Times have changed, but our basic instinct of need has and will always remain intact. Every person has acted as a low-key sycophant sometime in their life just to feel accepted by someone or a group of people. It is called as conformity, compliance, etc. Is it wrong? Absolutely not! Having a feeling to be accepted starts right from the time of our birth; we need the ardent and unceasing affection and time of our parents, we need friends to look up-to us and we always need people to respect us. So, here are some ways you can learn to feel more accepted and as a result, feel happier.

Stop Overthinking

Overthinking is such a dicey and dangerous act that it can create unnecessary ripples in your life.

Pondering over something helps, but thinking it over and over again increases your stress levels and literally weakens your judgement power.

It leads to a myriad of negative thoughts that loom in and worsens your relationships.

It isn't easy to avoid this issue.

But right when you catch your mind drifting into the world of unnecessary reasoning, snap out of it!

Act A Tad Bit Selfish

Many a times we tend to give up on something, or compromise just for the happiness of others. It indeed is a wonderful deed, but not at the cost of your happiness. Opportunities come and go, but it is your choice whether to grab it or not. So next time, for example, you want to have a solitary moment with yourself; you and just your favorite book wrapped up in that comfy blanket all ready to enjoy the hot cup of coffee, do it! Do not move an inch just because your friends are in the mood to party!

Listen More

I have heard quite a few complaining about having no friends or relatives to talk to; not realizing that they themselves are driving them away! It is fun to talk to others, narrate your funny stories or the silliest anecdotes that happened at work, or lauding your child's geniusness. In that very way, the opposite person too must be having a lot to talk about. Listen. Show interest in their lives. Enjoy your moments together. When there is a proper communication and a balance of give-and-take, you will always be looking out for another meeting.

Let It Go

What do you do when someone doesn't have the same opinion as yours? Especially, when it is coming from a loved one? How do you react when your concerns are not met with understanding? How do you feel when someone close to you doesn't listen to you when , in actuality, you are just trying to help or protect them? Let. It. Go. You are responsible for Your life, not his, hers or anyone's. Just like the way you want to make your life better, have goals and certain intentions, other people too have it. They too want to improve their living, their relationships, their world. Nobody wants to ruin their own lives. It is time you start living yours, and letting others live theirs. Just breathe, relax and let go.

“Letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t care about someone anymore. It’s just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself.” -Deborah Reber

Accept and Love Yourself

When in peril, look within. If you want to feel loved, belonged, but have doubts about your own self, you are never ever going to be accepted anywhere. People are attracted to those who radiate cheerfulness, positivity and that is possible only when you accept You, despite being coupled with your flaws.

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection."

-Buddha

Love yourself. Accept yourself. Throw away the negative thoughts that linger and rot your mind. Cleanse it with happy thoughts, self-love and laughter. Know thyself. Only when you come out of that shell of cynicism, can people begin to see you and accept you. You are the most important person in your life. Accept it!